Items of Note

"Sure Jesus could restore my physical and spiritual virginity, especially if I lost it to some rapist, but who wants that? I'm saving myself for marriage, and I'll use force if necessary." -Hilary Faye

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

I'm a good girl, yes I am

I was a good girl and stayed at home. No hair of the dog for this girl- oh no.

E tried to lure me out but I stayed strong, mostly because I was passed out on the couch by 7 pm and couldn't be bothered to get up and find my cell every time I heard it ring.

I did wake up a 10 and briefly considered going out at that point, but instead I threw on some clothes and took the doggie for a nice long walk. I may or may not have met a man on a motorcycle named Mike that was super sweet and loved my big silly puppy dog.

So that's all I've got.

I am being chastised by my eye doctor once again because over the weekend I lost one of my new contacts (the special expensive one) that I was supposed to be trying out. He really is mean. When I was in there last week he accused me of sleeping in my contacts, which I never do. I could see the doubt in his eyes. He then yelled at me (seriously) because I was not answering quickly enough to the "which is better 1 or 2" questions. He wheeled back his little stool and said "This test doesn't work if you say they look the same - they are different." Well they looked the same to me.

Worst post ever.

I would like to follow up that story by saying we had hot animalistic sex up against the counter after he yelled at me, but it simply isn't true. I don't think he has sex. I am going to believe he doesn't because not once did I catch him looking down my shirt. Or is it that my twins might be failing me? Please say it ain't so. If he only knew about my oral abilities. Heh. His loss.

Not to mention the money I funnel in to his office - my Gucci sunglasses came from him (I must admit they practically give me orgasms every time I slip them on. Mmmmmmmm, Gucci.)

I'm gonna go now. Try not to miss me too much, for you know I will be back this afternoon.


At 12:51 PM, Blogger Polly Prissy-Pants said...


At 1:39 PM, Blogger katarina said...

You need to find another eye doctor. The doctors I work for would never act so stupid.

At 5:55 PM, Blogger Osbasso said...

I'm guessing that he doesn't have sex. I highly doubt that the twins are failing. Then again, WE'VE NEVER SEEN THEM!!


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