Items of Note

"Sure Jesus could restore my physical and spiritual virginity, especially if I lost it to some rapist, but who wants that? I'm saving myself for marriage, and I'll use force if necessary." -Hilary Faye

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Insane in the membrane

I think there is some sort of conspiracy here at work to kill me off by slowly driving me to the brink of insanity.

Muhahahahaha. Don't they know I'm already insane?

It begins with the world's worst administrative assistant and ends with cryptic messages from my CFO. Life = not so fun right now.

When I left here at 7:30 last night my boss said "I'll see you in the morning."

All I could do was cackle and think "Can one cut their own head off with a plastic knife?" It's just too much effort to find the box of kitchen utensils to do it properly.

So here I am writing this in light of the looming 3 pm deadline I am facing. I have literally kicked two people out of my office so far today and it is only 1 pm. One of them was my work nemesis. He just called me again and said "Hey there - it's your best friend." Damn him and his Armani suits and his good smelling self. He gets to drive a BMW 7 - I don't have a BMW 7, why should he get one?

Fuck 'em. I'm gonna go sell guns at Wal-Mart.


At 2:13 PM, Blogger Polly Prissy-Pants said...

"Can one cut their own head off with a plastic knife?"


At 3:12 PM, Blogger Tiff said...

Plastic Knife... cute :)

At 3:17 PM, Blogger katarina said...

What kind of cologne does he wear? That's always the deal breaker for me. If he smells nice, I'm in.


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