Items of Note

"Sure Jesus could restore my physical and spiritual virginity, especially if I lost it to some rapist, but who wants that? I'm saving myself for marriage, and I'll use force if necessary." -Hilary Faye

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

"When the tire blew out on Gary's car, he and Bob got out and fixed it. But, they had only driven a few miles when another tire blew out. "Well, I guess I'm the blowout king" said Gary. Bob tried to smile, but it was hard. He had always thought of himself as the blowout king."

"I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it."

"If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like I am now."

Jack Handey

5 Comments:

At 6:02 PM, Blogger aughra said...

I love Jack Handey stuff. I have a book of Deep Thoughts somewhere.

 
At 11:01 AM, Blogger Polly Prissy-Pants said...

I heart JH

My fave quote:
If I ever opened a trampoline store, I don't think I'd call it Trampo-Land, because you might think it was a store for tramps, which is not the impression we are trying to convey with our store. On the other hand, we would not prohibit tramps from browsing, or testing the trampolines, unless a tramp's gyrations seemed to be getting out of control.

 
At 12:09 PM, Blogger Girl With An Alibi said...

Cool quotes. I'll have to read more of JH's stuff. This is why I love blogging. I learn something new every day.

 
At 5:59 AM, Blogger Johnny said...

I'd like a threesome with some extra sauce. :P

 
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