Items of Note

"Sure Jesus could restore my physical and spiritual virginity, especially if I lost it to some rapist, but who wants that? I'm saving myself for marriage, and I'll use force if necessary." -Hilary Faye

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

fun with email

Email I just sent to E:

"Is it time to go home yet? I talked to Anthony (the super-tall guy in the end apartment) outside at lunch, he asked if we could get together tonight and I said “we’ll see.” He was with two of his boys, one of which told me that I was so sweet that I could borrow his lighter any time (mysteriously my green lighter ran out of fluid last night.) Oh, and Cuban Boy called me and left me a message to see what I’m doing tonight. I was planning on sleeping early again, but who knows. Additionally I promised my mom I would come over and help her do something. Damn, maybe I can take Anthony and Cuban Boy along and we can have one big group date and help my mom at the same time. Riiiggghhhhttttt.

I know I have to deal with the whole stupid-boy thing as well.

Bah – I need a shiny. Who can I con into giving me a shiny?? Cuban Boy is poor and Anthony might be a drug dealer, so I guess Anthony is the logical target. Drug dealers have the best (most) money don’t they? As long as his shiny submission doesn’t come in a tiny little ziplock bag I will be ok.

Oh- Cuban Boy just called again while I was writing this. Silly boys, don’t they know better than to like me? Don’t they know I will just drive them to the point where they want to pin me down and tell me ‘how it is?’ Especially since I apparently fail to put the proper amount of lime in their drinks. I must be taught these things. I must be taught.

Yeah, so that’s all I’ve got.

Oh wait, Eric called to let me know he is alive (as if I cared. That was mean.) I asked him how his birthday trip to Jamaica was and it would appear they all had fun. I hope J and his 19-yo got attacked by sharks (maimed, not death mind you) or something, but I bet that didn’t happen since Eric didn’t mention anything about it. I bet if his brother and Lisa the wonder slut had been maimed/mauled/mutilated by sharks Eric would have mentioned it.

You know even something as simple as them contracting crabs would be ok with me. Maybe next time. Bastards.

You know what, I am choosing to believe that they did contract crabs. Yeah, I feel better already. It doesn’t take much with me.

Whew. Ok then. Goodbye."

6 Comments:

At 2:03 PM, Blogger Stairwell said...

You'd think with all that male contact someone would buy something shiny for her. Men are dumb - they'll do most anything if they think they *might* get something out of it. This is why women are obviously further evolved.

 
At 2:10 PM, Blogger Blog ho said...

can we get together tonight?

 
At 2:52 PM, Blogger Princess Steph said...

stairwell - what the two of us really need is a guy that will but us BOTH shiny things for flashes of boobs....

blog - any time.

 
At 6:01 PM, Blogger Osbasso said...

Will the Vin pics get me boob flashes?

 
At 6:09 PM, Blogger katarina said...

You're just a woman. How do they expect you to know things?
I think I'll vomit now.

 
At 8:14 AM, Blogger wopanese said...

You're blog, and others here, were nice motivation for a song I wrote and debuted last night - went over pretty well. It's name? "Men are Assholes". Yep, pretty straight to the point and I certainly didn't pull many punches, though I am, in fact, a man.

But like I said - if you can't laugh at yourself, you're taking youself too seriously.

A toast to shiny things...

 

Post a Comment

<< Home

http://sitetracker.com CLASS=ivanL_SI TARGET=_blank>FREE counter and Web statistics from sitetracker.com