Items of Note

"Sure Jesus could restore my physical and spiritual virginity, especially if I lost it to some rapist, but who wants that? I'm saving myself for marriage, and I'll use force if necessary." -Hilary Faye

Wednesday, August 10, 2005


I went to the bar last night to have a few drinks to drown my sorrows. I heard the following pick up line:

"I was just asking what you like to eat for breakfast so I know what to stock up on."

Gus you old geezer, I give you props for trying.

I might have given my number an electrician with the body of Adonis and a tongue ring.

I'm not sure why I bothered though- he will probably try to hit me or something if we go out.


Non-IT boy called me at 1 am and began the conversation with "What are you doing?" Oh how I wish I would have said I was busy fucking a soccer team or something - but instead I mumbled that I was sleeping like a normal person and told him we would talk later today.

Apparently my kicking him out did not signal that I was unhappy with his behavior. Fuckwit.

Cuban Boy drunk dialed me again and said he wanted to come over, but I convinced him that he needed to stay in his own bed.

I'm gonna start turning my damn phone off at night. Hell, maybe all the time.


At 7:26 AM, Blogger Robin said...

Nice pickup line :)

At 7:57 AM, Blogger Osbasso said...

I like the Nerds quote!

I agree with the phone thing. Though I rarely have that problem. I still think leaving his stuff on the front porch (nicely packaged--take the high road here) might get the message across. Along with a nicely worded card. With a bloody knife stabbed through it.

Then again, he'd probably keep calling to ask what the big deal was...

At 8:04 AM, Blogger A. Estella Sassypants said...

Fuckwit just doesn't cover it. Dumb shit fuckwit is closer. Sorry for whatever hits you get based on that statement.

I've heard electricians are good at oral sex. Redbook did a survey on this sort of thing once (sexual prowess according to field of employment). Must look it up.

At 8:37 AM, Blogger Stairwell said...

"I have a question. Should I nudge you for breakfast or let you sleep in?"

Men don't get clues. Ever. We're dense. It's in the chemistry. I need to blog this...

I generally unplug my house phone before I go out (let voice mail get it) to keep myself out of trouble then turn the cell off on the way home (to keep us all out of trouble). It may seem neurotic, but I've had some unpleasant experiences involving lewdness, nakedness and public intoxication that could have been avoided if I'd done these.

At 5:15 PM, Blogger katarina said...

Not all boys are going to hit you and you know this. There are some decent ones. Like Todd for instance. Use him as an example.

I want you to e-mail me Non-It's address. I'm going to send him a dead, dirty rat with a note: This will be you, pretty boy. Watch your back.

At 7:40 PM, Blogger yournamehere said...

Kat, I am going to use that as a pick-up line: "Hey, go out with me and I won't punch you in the face."

Seriously, ladies: Go out with me and I won't punch you in the face.

At 6:39 AM, Blogger The Sandmonkey said...

Howcome you didn't give him a piece of your mind when he called?

At 7:48 AM, Blogger HappyKap said...

You are one popular girl. I'm jealous. :-)

At 7:59 AM, Blogger AMS said...

delete his number pronto - and then go "eh sorry who is this?" if he calls - it will really piss him off,trust me.


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