Items of Note

"Sure Jesus could restore my physical and spiritual virginity, especially if I lost it to some rapist, but who wants that? I'm saving myself for marriage, and I'll use force if necessary." -Hilary Faye

Thursday, August 04, 2005

I win

Are you looking at my feet??? I have important things to say here people. Important.

OK- we all know that I never have anything important to say.

Moving on. Since I was in charge of plans for last night I decided to scrap the fancy date idea and pitched the idea of sex on the couch then a little air hockey at Speed Zone. Are you jealous?

Well it didn't work out that way. Speed Zone was closed for a private party, so we went back to the house and busted out the Jenga to satisfy my competitive craving. I won - I could tell that he wanted to cry like a little girl. OK, that might be the asshole in me talking, but I did win. I must win at everything. It's a thing (read issue) I have.

And I still got my sex on the couch. Or maybe he got his... perhaps both.

Over the weekend I discussed with E how we need to put together a workout DVD that will help you have sex like a porn star. How do their legs stand the pressure for so long during their lovely obligatory couch scenes?

There was a disagreement at one point in the night that made me want him to leave. He has some serious apologizing to do or I will be back in Cuban Boy's arms before you can say "my body my choice."

Also in my quest to be an idiot I have agreed to hang out and drink with a guy that lives a few doors down tonight. He's almost 7 feet tall and dark and handsome. How could I refuse? He told me I'm beautiful, you can't go wrong there. Since I'm only 5'4 I could climb him like a tree. But I won't. Probably not.


At 10:36 AM, Blogger Shumpy said...

make sure you include the guys in the video. Our legs get tired/sore too.

It's all in the dismount when you are OTF'ing (Olympic Trick Fucking) on the couch. ;)

At 11:44 AM, Blogger A. Estella Sassypants said...

It really doesn't get much better than sex and Jenga. The fight that made you want him to leave sounds a little iffy, though.

At 11:55 AM, Blogger Princess Steph said...

'specially when its sex, Jenga then more sex.

I thought I would melt when he said 'do you like board games because I really do..."

I swear somebody gave him my manual that tells him all the right things to say. With the argument he just chose the wrong page or something..

At 12:11 PM, Blogger wildcat9two said...

sex and candy land? maybe?

At 12:51 PM, Blogger Princess Steph said...

strip candyland.... scathingly brilliant.

fucking brilliant.

At 1:10 PM, Blogger katarina said...

You fucked him?
You said you were going to wait.

At 1:26 PM, Blogger Princess Steph said...

I- um- did I say that? I said that? Crap- I don't remember saying that.

Yes, but all is well my pet, for I have agreed to not fuck anybody else while I am seeing him. That's something, right??

I think he might have control issues though - this could be a problem seeing as how I have control issues as well...

At 2:34 PM, Blogger a.m. griffin said...

i think i wished i played janga last night. sex is one of those things you always want sooo... didn't get it in any case.

and go play monkey on bigfoot, could be more fun than janga.

At 3:52 PM, Blogger nongirlfriend said...

Go ahead, be a monkey. Climb that baby!

At 9:50 PM, Blogger Other Brother said...

yeah screw that guy. i'm 6'1 by the way.
(talking about height here)

At 9:50 PM, Blogger Other Brother said...

(screw him as in = don't screw him. screw me.) yeah.

At 4:02 AM, Blogger katarina said...

Wow, that is something. Guess you better stay away from E.

At 9:39 AM, Blogger Polly Prissy-Pants said...

See Carmen Electra Cardio Striptease DVD.


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