Items of Note

"Sure Jesus could restore my physical and spiritual virginity, especially if I lost it to some rapist, but who wants that? I'm saving myself for marriage, and I'll use force if necessary." -Hilary Faye

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Who would like to impregnate me?

I know – what a question to ask. On the way back to work from lunch I saw a little 5 year old boy walking down the sidewalk with his mother (I presume) and he had his new little backpack strapped to his back and his hair was freshly cut and he looked so cute. It made me want one. Oh hush- it will pass. I’m not quite ready to give up my Vodka breakfasts just yet (I hear you have to do that once you begin being ‘responsible,’ is that true?)

I don’t feel like talking about sexual reconnaissance yet, maybe later. Bah.

Raphael from the club Saturday night sent me a text message last night that said happy birthday sweet thing. He must have one hell of a memory because I don’t remember telling him anything about it that night. I sent him back a message this morning and told him I would call him tonight.

The executive in the office next to me just yelled out “How fucking stupid is that?” My boss got on to me when I first got here because I used the word hell. I will be glad when I am working for the ‘How fucking stupid is that’ lady. I have a formal interview with one of her people on Thursday, but she has already assured me that I have the job if I want it.

One of my babies had puked on my couch when I went home for lunch. Sigh. I just can’t have anything nice.... (they both seemed to be ok incidentally.)

E isn’t answering her phone but I left her a message telling her that she has to stop seeing one of her men because I was thinking about Saturday night and I realized that he pulled something out of his car that appeared to be a ‘fanny pack.’ Possession of one of those is grounds for dismissal – no exceptions.

I still am unable to send myself pictures from my phone and I’m pissed about it.

Cuban Boy told me yesterday that watching me putting on my Sephora Super Shimmer lip gloss (in Think Pink) in McDonald’s the other day was the most erotic thing he had ever seen. That’s kind of hot.

There were three girls in my group that I went out with Saturday night. I am by far the most conservative of the lot. Chew on that. Anybody ready to move to Texas yet?

Inspired by the process of cleaning up of dog/cat vomit I decided to gather trash at lunch. While emptying the bathroom trash a USED condom fell out on the floor. This was not a condom I had used which makes this whole event that much more disgusting. I should make my weekend house guests come back over and clean my bathroom floor with a toothbrush.

That’s all for now.


At 12:08 PM, Blogger Osbasso said...

Ewwww... Just shake the fuck out of it and use it again. (I know--old joke)

Watch out for Cuban Boy. Sounds like he knows all the right things to say...

When do we get to see a glimpse of E? As I remember, she was supposed to be a frequent co-contributor of your blog when you first started.

BTW--thanks for the comment on my Answers post. I figure the more you know about me, the less you can use against me!

At 12:09 PM, Blogger wopanese said...

** throwing out his way old fanny back from "back in the day" in the trash **

Okay, I'm in... I've got great genes, great hair, very high IQ, great massage technique, good voice, musical talent (at least, that's what "they" say)... so, when do I have to move to Texas? ;)

Used condoms - agreed, they are only acceptable when you were involved in transfer of title from new to used. But bright side, at least they tossed it in the trash instead of clogging your sink or toilet with it... or *ack* LEAVE IT ON THE BED (*bad flashback*)

At 1:07 PM, Blogger Roximoon said...

Wow.. no babies.. babies are the devil.. and whenever I want to attrach a hottie I always put on my victoria secret lip gloss.. makes men go ohhhhh..

At 1:25 PM, Blogger Stairwell said...

KIDS?!?! NOOOOOO!!!! Someone needs to bang that thought out of you STAT!

Fanny pack? I don't recall ever having one of those. I want my bonus points.

I don't think "most erotic" and "McDonald's" should ever be used in the same sentence. Ever.

I think I know those girls. Of at least their sisters.

Ewww. First your bed, now the bathroom. Something needs to be said in the way of taste. What exactly I don't know, but something.

At 1:26 PM, Blogger Stairwell said...

P.S. Where is E these days? I think the Tool has wandered off with her.

At 1:35 PM, Blogger A. Estella Sassypants said...

Condoms. Eeww.
Babies. Eeww.
Fanny pack. Fucking terrifying.

At 1:36 PM, Blogger Princess Steph said...

os- ewwwwww!!!! They got in to my stash in my bedside drawer. Oh well, I might have to stop by the porn shop on my way home tonight anyway, I can get some more there. Cuban Boy does say some good things, but he also doesn't know when to stop (I hate all of the 'I miss you's' I've been getting)

I actually posted a pic of E way back when I had my other much cooler blog. She's not really allowed here anymore....

At 1:39 PM, Blogger Princess Steph said...

wop - I'm over it, there was a crying baby in the lobby. I don't like the crying.

If they would have left it in the bed I would have KILLED them by now...

rox- no babies - agreed!!!!

stair - She's around here somewhere - I think she posted today. No babies, no fanny packs, no sex in my bathroom unless I'm involved (you have to ask E about the countertop in the bathroom one of these days)

At 1:40 PM, Blogger Princess Steph said...

andi- agreed!

At 2:19 PM, Blogger Osbasso said...

I think I remember. E, dog, S, patio door?

At 2:22 PM, Blogger Princess Steph said...


At 3:11 PM, Blogger Polly Prissy-Pants said...

My BF and I were taking a shower together when we heard all this noise outside the curtain. I peeked out and looked down.

"ummm---you're not going to like this. He's chewing on a used condom"

My dog. Is. disgusting.

At 6:43 PM, Blogger The Funky Bee said...

mmmm watching someone put lip gloss on is very sexy...

the used condom totally making me gag right now, uugh, I can't believe you had to deal with that. yuck!

At 6:11 AM, Blogger AMS said...

ah sick

At 8:03 AM, Blogger wopanese said...

aw hell, it was worth a shot... ;)

I have to start building my "army to take over the world" somehow, right?

At 7:19 AM, Blogger Devon said...

A little late... but I'd definitely impregnate you. I've been looking for someone to impregnate actually... haha

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