Items of Note

"Sure Jesus could restore my physical and spiritual virginity, especially if I lost it to some rapist, but who wants that? I'm saving myself for marriage, and I'll use force if necessary." -Hilary Faye

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Fun with email (it's been a while, come on, play along)

Yo freak-

The woman that sits on the other side of the wall has a Jersey accent and kisses into the phone like every 10 minutes. She loves a lot of people, because she says it every five minutes. I have been sitting here for 2 days and I already know that she is having trouble getting DSL installed, but she's getting a heck of a deal for her trouble, and one of her adult kids is traveling a lot these days. She drives me crazy. If you hear about 'an incident' at my building it wasn't me. Please send bail money, though.

See, this is why I had that nice office all by my lonesome when I had my old job. There were reasons.

I might actually vomit at some point this afternoon, too much Crown is not a good thing. Never get into a drinking contest with a man that is almost 7 feet tall, that is my sage advise for the day. Also, never get involved in a land war in Asia, but you already knew that.

I have had 2 run-ins with the cute guy from the 25th floor in the last day, both times he has been with clients/co-workers, but has been very complimentary and chatty. Next time I am asking him for his card: I am going to ask a guy out, I have never done that to the best of my knowledge (I shirk all responsibility for actions I might have taken in the past while intoxicated.) He is very nice, drives a nice car, dresses well, has a job; all pluses in my book. We can date, he can like me, then I can force him away at the first sign of commitment and be a total weirdo. It should be fun. I'll print him up a t-shirt, I survived hurricane Stephanie, or perhaps something clever instead.

There was more but I deleted my diatribe on old people in Sebring convertibles because I knew you wouldn't read it.

That is all. This not being able to talk on the phone much may not be a good thing for your productivity.

Bye now.

EDIT- Response:

My producivity, schomidivity. Wait, didn't I just say I was going to re-dedicate myself to work. Ah well, I'll start Monday. Maybe I'll diet and excercise as well. BTW, when can I go home today?

Ask the guy out. Live dangerously. Life on the edge, and all that. I just read about a 105-year-old-woman. She would ask him out. Are you 106, hmmm? Although I am totally on board with the t-shirt idea. We need something clever, but then we could give them out instead of not calling or having to directly break it off. Think of the conversations it would save!

In my rather lengthy experience, the only way to compete with a 7-foot-tall man is to cheat. Cheat. And Cheat some more. Don't even try to hide it by the time he is drunk. You must accept that playing by the rules means you can't win. Therefore, forget the rules. Water=tequila. Short shots. Other tricks may be to advanced for you (was that a shot at me? new rules, while taking shots at me you must use proper grammar. I know the advanced tricks - nevermind.)

I never did trust New Jersery. It always just seemed like a part of New York that was going through a rebellious phase. Stupid teenagers. But now you understand why I got so excited about that machine that makes it so other people can't hear your phone calls. (I have no idea what they hell she is talking about.)

For continuity purposes, feel free to post. But not the last sentence, cause that is lame. Or that sentence. Or that sentence. Oh hell, forget it. (see, Pixel is a freak I tell you.)

7 Comments:

At 11:26 AM, Blogger AndyT13 said...

Sorry your office mate sucks. Sounds like you had a good time with the boys though. "I survived hurricane Stephanie" I like it. That's perfect. :-)

 
At 11:33 AM, Blogger Pixel said...

Someone at ACL made up a shirt that said, ``Rita Hates Music.''

 
At 12:05 PM, Blogger Stairwell said...

And "never go in against a Sicilian, when DEATH is on the line."

While we're at it..."Never get less than twelve hours sleep, never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city, and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body."

And we all knew about Pix already.

 
At 2:37 PM, Blogger Princess Steph said...

andy- thanks I shall take that into consideration

stair- i love that you get my princess bride references. I didnt know that thing about the women with tats of daggers, I shall abstain from getting one!! ;)

 
At 2:42 PM, Blogger wopanese said...

I just love the Jersey accent, oh moiy Gawd. You wouldn't friggin' believe it if I friggin' told youz.

Anyway, T-shirt slogan ideas of the day:

"Stephanie - not just for breakfast anymore"

"Date? That's so 90's"

Princess Steph said, "You were fun. Buh bye"

I was Prince for a week... then the Princess tired of me.

q - What am I? Chopped liver?
a - We don't serve that here.

Okay, not at my best - it's Wednesday. Ask me again on Monday and I'll come up with something remotely funny.

 
At 11:04 AM, Blogger Sam said...

I don't see why you have to prove to EB that you can drink as much as he does, you have the pussy. End of story.

 
At 8:39 PM, Blogger meto mayo said...

نحن في شركة نقل اثاث بجدة دائما على استعداد لتوفير لكم أفضل الخدمات للتغليف والتحرك الي منزلك الجديد بدون
تعب او ارهاق - فخدمات نقل العفش بجدة تتم إلى جميع أنحاء المملكة بواسطة خبراء في نقل وتعبئة أمتعتهم الخاصة بك بواسطة شركة نقل عفش بجدة بطريق صحيحة بدون اي اخطاء فالطريقة التي نتبعها الأكثر تفضيلا وراحة كما نحن في شركة نقل اثاث بالدمام قدمنا ​​الكثير من المعلومات عن خدمات النقل المؤمنة لنقل المنازل، والنقل السكني، والنقل التجاري، والتخزين والتعبئة بواسطة أفضل المحركات والخدمات التي تقدمها شركة نقل عفش بالدمام لجميع أنحاء السعودية بأسعار معقولة جدا وحقيقية.
شركة نقل عفش بمكة
شركة نقل اثاث بمكة
مستودعات تخزين الاثاث بالرياض
شركة تخزين الاثاث
شركة تخزين اثاث بالرياض
شركة تخزين عفش بالرياض

 

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