Items of Note

"Sure Jesus could restore my physical and spiritual virginity, especially if I lost it to some rapist, but who wants that? I'm saving myself for marriage, and I'll use force if necessary." -Hilary Faye

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Yes please.

I let Damien come over last night as I was getting ready to go out. He is a sweet kid that is absolutely fascinated with my breasts. At one point I said “Rumor has it that I have a very pretty face too.”

I was a good girl – there was no kissing, a little flashing, and I may or may not have been able to send the following text message to E after he begrudgingly left:

“My 21 YO has the biggest cock I’ve ever encountered.”

It was never actually exposed, but all I could say was damn as he came up behind me to give me a hug. It was a monster and at that point I asked him to return in exactly 7 days and we would see what we could do with it. Screw it, I’m not attached to anybody, why not?

He has a record contract, and from what Tall Boy tells me he’s pretty good. I don’t care about anything beyond finding out what he can do with his goods.

Then I went to get dinner. I was sitting alone when this lady across the bar told me to get my ass over there to sit by her. I did as I was told (she was a big girl!) She turned out to be awesome – her name is Mary and she has a radio show and she has never met a stranger. She introduced me to her friend Pete, who was about 50. The short story is that Pete ended up hemming and hawing around and finally asked me out, but I politely declined citing the fact that he has 3 kids. He made me feel very guilty about saying no, like I was required to go out with him, even if it was just once. He was like a little sad puppy after that, so I left to go get a drink. (Mary followed me out and produced a candle from her car for me, it was a little odd.)

At the bar I met a very interesting character – I can’t remember his name, but he now has my number. We had a very bawdy conversation with his intoxicated friend Michael. This guy had so much confidence oozing out of him it was ridiculous. He was not the most attractive man I’ve ever seen, he was in his 40’s, was tall and bald, but you would have thought he was a cross between Pitt and Clooney with the way he handled himself.

His parting words to me were “You may not know it yet but one of these days you will be fucking me.”

Holy crap. Who says that kind of stuff?

The amazing thing is that kind of crap usually puts me off, but somehow it made him very attractive. I think he knows Matt (who wanted to hang out again last night incidentally) – that could be a problem.

So there you go. I wasn’t bored, that’s for sure.

I cannot wait until my seven days of exile are over. Sometimes I hate being a girl.

Text conversation from last night:
“Can’t go, going to a fight – have u found me a mistress yet?” –Paul (after the Suicide Girls show we decided leather and piercings might be fun)
“Damn, k. Maybe ill look 2nite. Is she gonna cut into my fucking time?” –me
“Nope- head tooooooo good.” –Paul (should I be insulted by that?)
“OK as long as I can try her 1st for quality control” –Me
“You = hot.” -Paul

9 Comments:

At 8:32 AM, Blogger Princess Steph said...

Shit - you don;t know who Matt is do you? That would be EB.

 
At 8:50 AM, Blogger The Funky Bee said...

hmmm 21yo with big cock...could be dangerous or REALLY fun.

Being a girl sucks often but we know how to use it to our advantage and that's important

 
At 9:14 AM, Blogger Pixel said...

I am sorry, I read that sentence wrong. I thought you said you were a girl that sucks. *giggle*

 
At 9:30 AM, Blogger Stairwell said...

So he's now YOUR 21 y.o.? ;)

I had woman do something similar to that to me once. She came over chatted me up for a bit, then brought me over to introduce me to her friend.

It's like a smoke screen or something. If the friend wants to talk to me, come over and talk to me. Don't send your messenger. You're not JLo; your entourage can't do everything for you. (yes this bothers me...more than I realized)

 
At 9:47 AM, Blogger Steph said...

Egos turns me off big time. Especially when they're attached to ugly, balding men.

 
At 10:42 AM, Blogger Sam said...

Exile sucks. I'm not too fond of huge cocks, either. Ouch!

 
At 1:49 PM, Anonymous God said...

His parting words to me were “You may not know it yet but one of these days you will be fucking me.”

Holy crap. Who says that kind of stuff?


I've got a better question for you. Who blogs about bad pick up lines and then admits they fell for it hook, line and sinker in the very next sentence?

Hint: You.

You're so cool Steph.

 
At 1:54 PM, Blogger katarina said...

I like Paul. I think you do too.

 
At 2:44 PM, Blogger Shumpy said...

what radio show did the dj host?

that is an awesome line coming from a guy like that.

 

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