Items of Note

"Sure Jesus could restore my physical and spiritual virginity, especially if I lost it to some rapist, but who wants that? I'm saving myself for marriage, and I'll use force if necessary." -Hilary Faye

Monday, December 05, 2005

It’s just not going to work out….

I have to break things off with The Suit ASAP. I tried to be patient, really I did. I put up with the constant calls, the incessant need for reassurance, the fucking eye gazing.

The proverbial straw breaking that big, strong camel’s back happened this morning when he got up pre-dawn and began singing in the shower. I am NOT a morning person and it was really early and I was obviously not going to get out of bed when he did, yet he did it anyway. Oh, and he peed with the door open, a giant no-no in my book at any stage in a relationship.

First thing this morning he IMed me and told he that he appreciated the dinner I cooked (read ‘heated’) and he looks forward to more ‘cozy’ nights like that going forward.

Son of a bitch. Why can’t they just leave well enough alone? If a guy is lucky enough to get me to suck his dick, why, oh why can’t he just simply say thank you and move on about his business?

He brought up marriage again last night. We have been going out for less than two fucking months, what the hell? No matter how many times I tell him that I am not ready to just date him, how I am not looking for someone to marry he just won’t get it. He is constantly pushing me to meet his parents and friends.

I’m done, I’m joining a lesbian gang. That’s right, a gang. If I’m going, I’m going all in. Next time you see me I will have various tiara tattoos and will be flashing my gang signs left and right (you can imagine what those will be on your own.) I am going to miss the dick, but what can you do?

That is all for now. Carry on.


At 8:53 AM, Blogger nongirlfriend said...

It's always the ones we don't want to feel that way that feel that way too soon.

And sometimes, it's the ones we want to feel that way that feel that way too soon.

Or maybe I'm just high from laughing gas and darvocet.

At 12:01 PM, Blogger Steph said...

Singing in the shower is a no go at any time for a man in my opinion, but especially in the morning. I'm not sure how you've been able to stand it for this long.

At 8:47 PM, Blogger The Funky Bee said...

get a dildo, that's what you do...good luck on the other side. but seriously now, I'm going to agree with's always the one's you don't want. If the man of your dreams did all of these things it would be 'cute' and 'sweet', he is obviously not the one if it's annoying and obnoxious to you.

At 9:33 PM, Blogger ago-go said...

hee hee said "going out"!

At 10:17 PM, Blogger A. Estella Sassypants said...

What a douchebag. Flick him in the forehead and tell him to get on his knees. Then knock him out with a picture of his parents and never return his calls again.

Just an idea.

At 3:11 AM, Blogger yournamehere said...

Let me practice: "Thanks for sucking my dick, steph. I'm going to want Family Guy on DVD now."

How was that?

At 3:47 AM, Blogger katarina said...

How is it that Texas is full of guys that are ready to settle down and give you everything you want? Pennsylvania is full of the kind of guys you're looking for. Wanna switch?

At 7:17 AM, Blogger PJay said...

2 months and talks of marriage?

The time to cut things off has long since passed!

Good luck finding that gang of yours.

At 11:19 AM, Blogger Stairwell said...

Cut the cord. It sounds like it's time. I'm with Funky, if those things are "irritating", it's not gonna last. Dem's the facts.

And Kat, Texas isn't "full of "those guys", just most of the ones that Steph finds. ;)

At 5:13 PM, Blogger katarina said...

She's a sappy man magnet.


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