Cute but Psycho (no not me silly!)
So Army Boy just might fit into the cute but psycho category.
OK so there is no 'might' about it. The boy is crazy (and not in a good way like me.)
I overlooked the 4 calls a day, I did.
I overlooked the repeated questions about what I'm looking for in a man (that would be a big dick.)
I even overlooked the badbadbad sexual innuendos and pretended like I 'didn't get it.'
The proverbial nail in the coffin was the voicemail and subsequent call we had last night.
Voice mail: "Hey gorgeous I had a really bad day and need to talk to you as soon as possible. It's important."
OK- so I'm thinking his mom died or he was in a car wreck, I felt bad for him and called him back (when it was convenient for me of course, 2 hours later.)
He launches into this diatribe about some other girl and how he was supposed to have a 1st date with her last night and at the last minute she sent him a text message saying she was getting back with her ex and cancelled (I've totally used that excuse before.)
My first thought was damn, how many cell phone minutes does this man have? I mean really, if he calls me all the time and he calls her all the time it must really add up.
Anywho - the deal was they met online (yikes!) and had been talking for a while, but had never met in person. He then told me that he sent her flowers to her work on Monday. WHAT? They hadn't even met yet - what the hell?
But wait - there's more.
He then tells me that he went up to her work to confront her (because that's the rational thing to do) after she cancelled.
Oh dear God. How in the hell do I find the psycho ones? How can so many people I meet be crazy?
Please remember that we have a first date scheduled for tomorrow (we met in a club a few weekends back for those of you who smoke pot and don't remember.) If I am not back on Friday please say a prayer for my hacked up body that will be in the first stages of decomposition in some guy's freezer.
Yes I am going to go - at the end of the evening I will let him know that I didn't feel any spark and it is best that he keeps looking. I'm hoping this keeps me from having to change my cell number.
We will meet in a public place and I will not get in the car with him. As a matter of fact I will try my best to have somebody I know just 'happen' to be eating dinner at the same place at the same time.
He doesn't know my last name, he doesn't know where I live or work, so fret not my pretties.
In other news Cuban Boy asked me to go camping this weekend. Now we all know that I am pretty booked up, but I said MAYBE to Sunday night. Then somebody told me there would be snakes and spiders out in the woods so I am going to cancel. If he were to counter offer with a nice hotel I would reconsider. Muhahahaha.
Boys make my head hurt.