Items of Note

"Sure Jesus could restore my physical and spiritual virginity, especially if I lost it to some rapist, but who wants that? I'm saving myself for marriage, and I'll use force if necessary." -Hilary Faye

Friday, January 13, 2006

Boring

Nothing exciting going on here. I hung out with the girls last night until about 10 then I had a conversation with Pix that went something like this:

Me- I want to have sex, I’m going to call Pablo (the 21 YO) and have him come over.
Pix- You haven’t had sex with him yet, you cant tonight, it has to be with someone you have already fucked
Me- OK, I’m calling Damien (another 21 YO)
Pix- OK
(later)
Me- He’s sorry but he has to work tonight, what the hell am I going to do?!? I’m going to call The Suit
Pix- The sex wasn’t good enough to bring him back in, remember how you hate the way he looks at you?
Me- Yeah. Dammit.
Pix- Looks like no sex for you tonight, unless you call Paul.
Me- Bah- never.
(5 minutes later)
Me- Tell me I’m the master
Pix- Why?
Me- Ha, my cute neighbor Hector is coming over for drinks
Pix- You are the queen
Me- I can have sex if I want and all it took was walking out to the parking lot
Pix- Good for you
Me- I am the master

I did not have sex with him, or anything of the sort, but he did a good job of distracting me by talking until I got sleepy enough to forget about fucking.

He said something that struck me as odd – along the lines of ‘she’s not like us, she has emotions.’ Like us? I have emotions, I just choose not to showcase them to everybody.

Applications for new fuck buddy are now being taken at the front desk. Qualified applicants only. ;)

11 Comments:

At 11:53 AM, Blogger niknak said...

I wish I had cute neighbors to do that with...all my cute man neighbors are gay...sux!

 
At 12:42 PM, Blogger MollyNormal said...

Do I have to have a penis to be qualitifed?? If not, I'd like to apply. Heh.

 
At 12:46 PM, Blogger Troy said...

Must be nice. I don't have any single females in my apartment building.

 
At 12:57 PM, Blogger The Funky Bee said...

I'm SO glad you didn't call the Suit!!

 
At 1:30 PM, Blogger A. Estella Sassypants said...

What Funky said. The suit would've been a mistake.

I had a sex dream last night. *singing Dream a Little Dream*

 
At 4:05 PM, Blogger Dr. Syn said...

".....what a dull life I lead......"notso cheers.

 
At 4:13 PM, Blogger Dr. Syn said...

I forgot to ask, would qualifications include: chilled champagne, excellent truffles, compliments, "working bits", & the knowledge of when it's time to shut up ?

 
At 4:37 PM, Blogger yournamehere said...

Am I qualified? There's only one way to find out.

 
At 7:29 PM, Blogger katarina said...

You just opened up a can of worms. They'll all be lined up outside your door when you come home tonight.
I'll bring the camera and make Os happy.

 
At 2:15 PM, Blogger Shumpy said...

Where do I submit my resume again?

 
At 10:11 PM, Blogger Sam said...

Yeah, I'd like an application please. Send it to samsstories@gmail.com.

 

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