Items of Note

"Sure Jesus could restore my physical and spiritual virginity, especially if I lost it to some rapist, but who wants that? I'm saving myself for marriage, and I'll use force if necessary." -Hilary Faye

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Items of note from New Years Eve

A man with a handle bar mustache hit on me. It was long and waxed and very, very icky.

I walked by a couple and the man stopped me and said “OMG how about this one?” to his wife and she replied “absolutely not.” Pixel thinks they were looking for a 3some partner and I was vetoed by the wife. Ewwwww, as if.

Three men stopped me and told me I was pretty and they really wanted to put their faces in my cleavage. How very classy is that? The one that stopped me had his hand on the back of my neck in a really tight drunken grip and I was slightly concerned for my safety.

Blake Shelton has very pretty eyes, we were about 3 feet away from the stage.

A woman in the concert crowd told me to put my arm down because she couldn’t see and I refused on principle, and because she was a cunt. She punched me in the stomach as Pixel and I were heading for the bar. It didn’t hurt because there wasn’t enough room for her to get a good swing, but I was obviously pissed anyway.

New plan going forward- New Year’s party at my house, no rednecks allowed.


At 9:37 AM, Blogger The Funky Bee said...

Handlebar mustache...eeeww.

I can't believe some bitch punched you in the stomach. I would have knocked her out. Unless of course I was drunk and then I would have knocked her out then kicked her in the neck.

Sounds like a great time...minus the gross 3some couple and punchy McGee!

At 10:09 AM, Blogger nerdboy said...

heh. I'm so over the New Year's hype. We've been staying in the past coupla years, and we've been happy as clams.

I mean, really. If you go out...

You risk getting pulled over for drunk driving. If you're not drinking, or if someone else is the designated driver, you still risk getting killed by other drunk drivers.

To avoid this, you might go to a hotel or block parties. If you go to one of those, then you've gotta pay for a room at a nearby hotel. You've gotta pay to get IN the party. And then, you've gotta pay for your drinks.

Then, you're in a party full of really drunk strangers, which could be a good thing, but always turns out to be bad.

I figure, there's nothing on New Year's that I can't do next week, without all the cost and hassle.

I just outed myself as incredibly boring, huh...

Glad you had a good time anyway, despite the other idiots.

At 10:38 AM, Blogger Dr. Syn said...

Greetings.....'Have a moustache, don't understand how anyone could wax one. If you were lucky (funny how that has so many meanings),the three drunks would be seeing double & no matter how hard they tried, they would have missed you! As for the rest, at least you got out. I stayed in as the monsoon settled overhead earlier in the day. The new year arrived in near total darkness (the power & tele were out), which allowed me to crack open an only slighty cooled bottle of champagne. At 12:05, I was fortunate enough to go outside & repair the fence that had just blown down & hit the living room window. Sunrise came with my neighbors running around outside shouting, "Merry Christmas!" Such fun, I can't wait for this year to be over!...Cheers

At 10:41 AM, Blogger Princess Steph said...

there was no mention of fun y'all....

At 1:04 PM, Blogger A. Estella Sassypants said...

Holy shit! I can't believe that bitch punched you in the stomach. You should've pepper-sprayed her. Or kidney punched her. Or bought some brass knuckles.

At 1:12 PM, Blogger Princess Steph said...

next time andish, i will do all the above


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