Items of Note

"Sure Jesus could restore my physical and spiritual virginity, especially if I lost it to some rapist, but who wants that? I'm saving myself for marriage, and I'll use force if necessary." -Hilary Faye

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Best day ever

We like to call Monday “the best day ever.” We celebrated the hell out of President’s Day.

It began with me sending a text to E and C that went something like this: “The toothless waiter at IHop thinks I’m ‘real purty’- aren’t I special?”

Fast forward 15 minutes, C calls and says her 10:30 appointment cancelled, she’s on her way to meet me at IHop. She arrives, takes one look at Robert Joe the toothless waiter with a jerry curl mullet and bursts out on hysterical laughter- I sure do know how to pick ‘em. She misses my cue to pretend she’s my significant other and prods the toothless wonder on to flirt with me more. The check arrives and I am blessed with one bill for $16 and a brand new shiny phone number for my suitor- he didn’t even comp my eggs dammit.

Moving on, C and I head over to the fancy mall – the one with Tiffany, Nordstrom and Sacks- and proceed to pull out our best hick accents and hit up Betsey Johnson and try on $200 sunglasses and shoes. We then move on to Sacks where I purchase my perfume I have been lusting after since I ran out last year- Angel Innocent (fitting isn’t it?)

Total spent so far: $96

We move on to Nordstrom where C tries on the cutest shirt ever, but it is over $200 so we move on, but not before making the saleslady almost pee herself thinking we were seriously going to buy items from the “special occasion’ section.

Then we hit Sephora- damage done $27. A miracle indeed.

Revised total: $123

We then left the mall to take my stinky dog to the groomer. I dropped him off with the instructions to give him a Cocker Spaniel cut, and we loaded our happy asses back in the car and headed back to Sephora for our makeover appointments.

We were made up like drag queens by the lovely ladies at Sephora and walked out of there $130 lighter.

New total: $253

Then it was off to get manicures at the spa in the mall. 20 lovely French manicured fingers later we decided it was time for drinks. 2 manicures- $70

Revised total: $323

We went to Mi Cocina for margaritas – we met Tina the hairdresser there, we now have appointments with her Saturday for cuts and color, and we also met a Cuban man with lot’s of crazy gold jewelry that assured us he wasn’t married – as if we cared. How the hell did we spend $36 there? Oh well, add it to the total:

Total: $359

We then walked across the way to Bennignan’s for shots, where we met two very nice servers from another restraint that promised to hook us up if we came to visit them, so we bought them shots of Patron. I really don’t know what the total was there – 4 shots at $8 each and two beers, let’s call it $40. Oh, and the bartender thought I was lovely, mostly because of my dimples he said. I told him most people call that part of the body breasts, not dimples.

We are up to $399

The time had come to pick the dog up from the groomer. I go inside to find my tough little guy has been completely shaved – he was totally naked and very ashamed. Cocker cut my ass. Cost to spring him from hell $45.

Total $444

It was only 6 at this point, so it seemed like dinner and drinks were in order so we conned two of C’s male friends in to meeting us at Cuba Libre, where shots were consumed and pitchers of mojitos were flowing. Our part of the bill came to just over $100.

Grand total: $544.

Ummmm- what the hell? Apparently I am not allowed to hang out with C during the day. We are on a mission to find men that will hand over their credit cards to facilitate days like this going forward- do I have any applicants out there???


At 11:48 AM, Blogger Dr. Syn said...

Greetings............Your day had it all; food, expensive shopping, booze, animals, & the male of the species.......and perhaps the missing link? Cheers!

At 1:24 PM, Blogger Faith said...

Shots of Patron only cost $2 a piece where you are? Christ, woman! Are we getting totally screwed in KS, or are you getting watered-down Patron?

Sounds like a lovely day overall. Especially the part where you got to not go to work at all. I had to work, so I'm very jealous. Dammit.

At 1:38 PM, Blogger nongirlfriend said...

Not bad for a fab day out and all that you bought and did.

I need to get my gimpy ass to Sephora soon. Must have new Benefit it looked amazing on Bunny Saturday night.

I'm surprised I remembered that after the bump on my head. Hmmm.

At 2:11 PM, Blogger Princess Steph said...

they did use the Dallas product on me- It was a bit too dark for me to pull off

At 2:21 PM, Blogger R2K said...

Wild blog...

At 3:22 PM, Blogger Stairwell said...

Do the men get their cards back at the end of the day? Or are they expected to just hand them out like free samples?

At 3:50 PM, Blogger Dr. Syn said...

I believe the deal is, "You give them the cards, in return they let you have the rather substantial bill" Cheers!

At 4:59 PM, Blogger yournamehere said...

Steph, the day would have been better if you'd jetted to Vegas and met me for $14 margaritas at the Bellagio.

Every day you don't comment on my blog, I die a little inside. No big deal.

At 5:18 AM, Blogger AMS said...

well sounds like fun! im tres jealous considering my bank balance is way overdrawn so im not even allowed to buy a new mascara this month!

At 6:35 AM, Blogger nongirlfriend said...

I guess I should try it on first. I think it looked good on Bunny but I'm pretty fair. Well so is she but it's kinda like perfume...good on some, sucks on others.

At 7:21 AM, Blogger art said...

Sounds like you had a good time. Sorry I can't apply. Your little spree was far more affordable than my x's "little sprees" but I'm looking for a 'sugar mama' myself now. :P

At 10:16 AM, Blogger Troy said...

Glad you enjoyed it. I got to spend it dodging idiots who don't realize the roads here were icy on my way to work.

(And if you would like any money from my "sugar baby" account, you'll in turn have to sumbit an application.)

At 10:25 AM, Blogger Johnny said...

but what about prono

At 2:57 PM, Blogger ago-go said...

seriously need to take me shopping!

At 10:05 PM, Blogger The Funky Bee said...

holy shit that does sound like the best day ever...too bad you had to pay for it yourself. Oh well, time to look for a sugah daddy! I need to go to Sephora...yummm, Sephora!

At 4:14 AM, Blogger katarina said...

Holy shit.


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