Items of Note

"Sure Jesus could restore my physical and spiritual virginity, especially if I lost it to some rapist, but who wants that? I'm saving myself for marriage, and I'll use force if necessary." -Hilary Faye

Monday, March 06, 2006

The weekend

The weekend was fairly low key (I know, oh so disappointing.) Friday night I was the biggest dork EVER and went with a coworker to make cards (my new obsession.) We stayed at the scrap booking place until midnight – midnight I tell you.

One of my male coworkers drunk texted me, that was pretty sweet. I have been giving him a hard time about it all day.

Saturday E and I went out and hit a couple of bars. I met a new dating prospect- Jeff. He’s totally different from all of the other men I have been with lately, its rather refreshing. He is tall (6’4) blonde, blue eyes- and just as sweet as he can be. We went out to dinner last night and then back to the bar where we met. He introduced me to all of his friends there (other regulars)- lots of fun. It looks like he might drink a little more than I do which is a bad thing. We will see. We are going out again tonight. Yummy.

Now comes the good part – imagine the most inappropriate conversation you have ever had with a stranger and multiply that by 10 and that would be my little talk with my upstairs neighbor and his friend that was visiting Saturday night/Sunday morning.

I had some male company Saturday night after the bars- actually it was Sunday morning since E and I closed down the bar at 2 am. Anyway, apparently I was really, really loud between the hours of 3:30 and 6:30. And then again at 10. The visitor from upstairs stopped me as I was coming in from walking the dog last night and asked if he could talk to me. I knew where it was headed – he asked me if I had a good time that morning and if I was ok. I was so fucking embarrassed.

As it turns out he wasn’t lecturing me as much as trying to get me to let him give it a go- apparently I sounded like I knew what I was doing. Then he offered me cocaine. That is so typical of the apartments I live in. I gently declined his offer and told him I would try to keep it down in the future. What a freak!!!!!

I watched 40 Year Old Virgin this weekend – I got to say I don’t understand what all of the hype was about, not so funny.

That is all – could I be any more random?


At 1:42 PM, Blogger Shumpy said...

heh. I was with a girl once so loud in a house that the next door neighbors called the police because they said it sounded like someone was being attacked. This was at 1am and we never made it past the living room.
Then BAM BAM BAM! knocking at the door. I go answer it in my boxers and she grabbed my shirt and put it on.
The cops asked if everything was alright. I swung the door a little wider and showed them that she was ok and there behind her are the rest of our clothes hanging from various objects in the room. You shoulda seen those guys blush and one of them even gave me a wink and said have a good rest of the night. We did.

//totally agree with you on the 40yo virgin.

At 4:15 PM, Blogger The Funky Bee said...

that is fucking hilarious Steph - sounds like you had a great time BUT you may need to move from those apartments! I don't like those freaks subtly propositioning you and especially offering a complete stranger coke! ME NO LIKEY! Let me know if I need to come down there and knock them into shape...

40 year old virgin was WAY too long and SO not funny...I had a hard time keeping my eyes open and was very confused as to what all the hype was about. Glad to hear someone else agrees! Actually two people b/c it appears that Shumpy thinks the same way.

At 2:25 AM, Blogger nongirlfriend said...

I've had neighbors like you before. I always found them most entertaining.

At least you're having fun.

At 9:35 AM, Blogger Polly Prissy-Pants said...

You mean gift cards? You should sell them here...With some vulgar sayings on them. Will you make me one that says "I don't like you in that way" - but make it look like a traditional hallmark style card. And on the inside write "Because you have a hair sweater...seriously, consider waxing"

At 2:36 PM, Blogger SJR said...

I loved neigbors like you when I was living in apts/condos. If I wasn't gettin any that night I could at least listen in on someone else gettin it, lol!

At 4:15 AM, Blogger AMS said...

OH GOD! Mortification central!

At 9:32 AM, Blogger JD said...

mmmm, i love loud women. it's like hearing the whole stadium go wild as you make a great play. that adds to the sex exponentially. very hot. :)

At 12:16 PM, Blogger Troy said...

Yeah, I have upstairs neighbors that I can tell when there doing it. Usually I just hear the bed-springs, but sometimes I can hear her moan.

At 12:27 PM, Blogger Sam said...

Yeah, I'd turn down the cocaine, too. I don't care for it. How do you sound like you know what you're doing? Varied/loud noises? Screaming "I have my finger up your ass, do you like it baby?" I'm not sure...


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