Items of Note

"Sure Jesus could restore my physical and spiritual virginity, especially if I lost it to some rapist, but who wants that? I'm saving myself for marriage, and I'll use force if necessary." -Hilary Faye

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Well there goes my appetite and their self respect

I am appalled by the show "The Girls Next Door." Appalled I tell you.

You all know that I do not have cable, or even get the local channels for that matter, so today was the first time I encountered this little nugget of nastiness.

The girls that participate in the nonsense that is the Playboy mansion need to be shot.

Watching those plastic pieces of patheticness (yes I made up a word dammit) made me sick to my stomach (no chance in hell that was the Golden Corral (gross) from this afternoon, surely you jest.)

They each need to be shot in their empty little heads. No really, they do.

The thought of one of these idiots sucking his withered, diseased penis is enough to make me give up sex for good (well almost enough.)

I can imagine that reverse cowgirl is a very highly sought after position with this crowd - "If I can't see his face maybe I can pretend I climbed aboard David Hasselhoff (yes, even HE is a better sexual partner choice.)"

The worst part is they have to pretend to be HAPPY about doing it. There are not enough drugs in the world that would make me receptive to his old man stank.

I can see it now: "Really? OMG, he wants ME TONIGHT? I just can't wait to see all of that wrinkled old man flesh up close and personal, so very sexy. It makes me feel so special, being picked out like a lobster in a tank. I hope the herpes sores are gaping and oozing tonight, that just adds to his natural manly taste!!!" (bounce bounce.)

The best I can hope for is that one day while he (the Devil that is Hugh) will be fucking one of these brainless wastes of human flesh and her implant will explode and they will both drown in a pool of silicone.

This is in no way to be taken as an anti porn/dirty magazine rant, you all know I likes me some porn. Bring on the boobs (even the fake ones) and debauchery, just don't insult my intelligence by telling me that even one of those girls 'loves' (oh yes sir they used that word) him and looks forward to grinding her pelvis in to his.

Its all so sick.

Somebody needs to put these bunnies in a pot and boil them on the stove*, it makes just about as much sense as this show does.

Well there goes my appetite and their self respect.

*No this is not an actual instruction to go out and kill bunnies of any sort you sick sick person.

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